Saturday, July 23, 2011

Superpowers: You’re the one that I want

In keeping with what you may expect of me by this point, I’m a big fan of superheroes, superpowers and all things super, natural or otherwise.  Heroes was one of my favourite TV shows while it was on and I was very sad to see it go.  There will be a few other blog posts to come on this genre I’m sure, but I today I thought I’d go through the three superpowers I would most like to have.  Self-indulgent, but fun.

So, in ascending order of desire:

3rd) Teleportation – From A to B instantaneously

                The ultimate ability for those who want to travel a lot.  Considering I have lived in several continents, this ability would save me thousands in flight expenses, and the everyday applications of it are equally useful.  Shopping, going on trips, all are made much easier by this.  Also, vacations are also much easier.  This ability tends to come in two types, exemplified by Hiro from Heroes and Nightcrawler from X-Men.  Hiro had to concentrate very hard, but when he did, he could teleport anywhere (including through time, but that’s a separate thing).  It took longer, but his abilities were very powerful.  Nightcrawler, on the other hand, could teleport at will.  He could only teleport within a short range, in many storylines only within eyesight, but he could do it repeatedly which made him almost impossible to hit.  In a fight between the two of them based solely on teleportation powers, Nightcrawler wins hands down.  Of course, Hiro can stop time and has a sword.  But that’s another matter.  At any rate, while Nightcrawler is definitely the cooler of the two, I would have to go with Hiro’s teleportation for its range.  I want to just pack a suitcase, hold my girlfriend’s hand, concentrate and Yatta!  I’m in New York.  On reflection though, Hiro’s power proved a little unstable (I’m not going to spoil it for those of you who haven’t seen it), so I think teleportation is not for me.

2nd) Telekinesis – Moving objects with your mind
It can get ridiculously awesome.  That's a flood by the way.  Hundreds of tons of water.

                It’s the utility power.  Depending on your level of finesse, it can do pretty much anything.  From grabbing the pot from the top shelf of the kitchen to moving the car that parked in your spot, from terrorizing evil headmistresses Matilda style to ripping the molecular structure of someone apart X-Men 3 style.  Telekinesis has more uses than a Swiss Army knife on Batman’s utility belt.  I would take this over teleportation because even if I can’t fast travel, I can fly with telekinesis and that will do just fine for getting me places.  Because it is the ability to move anything with your mind, its uses are only confined by your imagination.  It makes a handy shield if you project a wall of force, making you as invulnerable as you have the power to make yourself.  I’ve been told of an X-Men comic where Jean causes a group of soldiers to flee just by moving the contents of their stomach up and down inside them.  Nasty.  Its infinitely useful, it can be very subtle if you have the right variant of the power, and you can fly.  Only one power in my opinion can top this.

1st) Cryokinesis – The creation and manipulation of ice
You remember this guy....
                 You heard me.  Ice.  It’s awesome.  Check out the wiki on Iceman’s powers.  You’ll be amazed.  He has a bunch of extra powers which I feel would probably come with anyone with cryokinesis, but for now, I’ll just stick with the basics.  To begin with, you can freeze things.  Pretty useful if someone’s annoying you, because its not fatal unless you overdo it.  Also, using ice, you can create some pretty awesome instant-erosion effects by pouring water into a crack in something (say a wall of concrete).  Then freeze that water.  It expands, it cracks the wall.  Done properly, you can bring down buildings – either through breaking the walls or wrecking the foundations.  Good times.  But yes, most days you will not want to wreck buildings.  What else can you do?  You can make things.  In as little or as great a complexity as you can manage.  My favourite: Sword and Shield.  It just makes life that little more entertaining when at will you can summon pretty much any weapon you can work out the design of in your head.  Also, need to get up a building?  Tower of ice.  Busy road you need to cross?  Ice bridge.  It’s not subtle, but my goodness it will get the job done.  Need more dice?  Ice dice.  Need more ice?  Ice ice.  Cups, a table, an extra chair (I recommend you sit on it, not someone else)?  Spilt something?  Make it into ice and transform that stain into a flower!  Telekinesis would have trouble with stains, let me tell you that right now.  Cryokinesis is a difficult ability to hide, but when you can do so much with such a simple ability, why would you bother to hide it?  Send the scientists their precious tissue samples and carry on with your life.  And have someone follow you with a boombox at all times playing ‘Ice, ice baby.’

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